Family Life Stories

I love this story that aired on NPR this morning.  Dr. Greer, a physician who treats homeless families in Florida, offered food to a six-year-old boy, who proceeded to eat only half.  When asked why he chose not to finish it, he said, he was saving the rest for his brother.

Read and listen to the piece here.  And today, keep your eyes open.  Whether it’s related to food or something having to do with the environment,  seize the opportunity to save something for your brother.

There’s no shortage of relationship advice about the differences in the way men and women handle feelings.  For couples, the added stress of coping with grief can place enormous pressure on the relationship.  Here’s a clip of a recent Fox Morning News appearance, where I talk about this most important topic.

Morgan Library & Museum officials agreed to keep letters written by JD Salinger under wraps until his death. But the seal was lifted last week, after he passed.  The letters are being prepared for exhibition.

Secret letters are a major plot point in my new novel, SEA ESCAPE,  to be published by Simon & Schuster this July.  I love reading old letters, and I’m a huge fan of Salinger’s, so I’ll be first in line to read every last one.

After sharing an essay I wrote about preparing to say goodbye to my college bound son–my youngest child– a cousin reminded me of a lovely essay posted on Conscious Moms, originally published in a collection of essays by Anna Quindlen.  In LOUD & CLEAR, Quindlen reminds us that our time to parent is fleeting and that our children are quite often our most important teachers.

I’ve come to love reading essays; I’m completely smitten with their power to unite people who share common experiences.  Ms. Quindlen has an especially keen eye and sharp insight  when it comes to writing about motherhood.  Stay tuned for her soon-to-be-released novel, EVERY LAST ONE.  No question, I’ll review it here when it’s published in April.

Don’t let this be your story!  Stop the choking game.

On Monday, Meredith Viera highlighted the dangerous, often deadly practice  of unintentional strangulation by teens.  Watch and learn.

From Time Magazine:

“Known by various names around the world — including funky chicken, space monkey, sleeper hold and the blackout, choking or fainting game — the activity involves applying pressure to the neck to stop the blood flow to the brain and then releasing the pressure to create a temporary sense of euphoria…

What is new — and frightening — is that teenagers are now uploading instructional videos to the Internet that glamorize the potentially deadly practice.”

Myths about the choking game, or why parents are reluctant to educate.

My children know better.
False.
Never assume that your children know anything you haven’t taught them.

If I educate my children, they will try it.
False.
The purpose of talking is to explain why children shouldn’t do it.  Use stories.  Be honest.

CDC study reveals:

• 36 % of children in the 2008 study say they’ve heard of the choking game.

• 1-15 has tried it.

Please talk to your children about the dangers of the choking game.  And spread the word to family and friends, encouraging them to have this lifesaving conversation.

Feeling overworked and under-appreciated, I quit writing for the day with only one decent paragraph and one in serious need of editing.  Clearing my desk, managing the to-do list, I asked myself why I continue to face the blank page, when writing is the hardest thing I’ve ever done?  Wouldn’t anything else be easier?  Then I came across a blog post on Studio 360, reminding me once more to trust the process and learn from the masters.

Toni Morrison began writing seriously at age thirty-five.  After joining a writers’ group and entering the world of publishing, she came to believe that she had a unique perspective for story telling, that her feelings could be expressed through her characters world view.

Listen to her eloquently discuss how she was compelled to write.  In this video clip, she says she writes to express feelings others might choose to skip over; she fears no one will remember that things aren’t always beautiful.  Morrison needs to “speak for just a moment…for the most vulnerable, for those who’ve never held center stage.”

Thank you Toni Morrison for reminding me why I explore the lives of fictional characters, why I dig to the heart of the story, even on days when I would rather do anything else.  Thank you for being such an inspiration.

People on Twitter and facebook are buzzing over the impact of Amazon removing buy buttons from all Macmillan titles.  With the battle of wills between the two giants being played out online, and my vested interest, (Life Without Summer is published by St. Martin’s Press, an imprint of Macmillan) yesterday I had the impulse to leave my office, my own writing, and head out to buy a hardcover novel.

I bought…

The Murderer’s Daughters by Randy Susan Meyers. It’s a family story about domestic violence and its impact on two young girls.  Meyers, who worked with families for years, brings an authenticity to this coming of age novel, and insight into the process of healing. I love when writers weave their expertise into storytelling.  When you read Merry and Lulu’s heartbreaking journey, you will too.

And in keeping with supporting new authors, regardless of their publisher, I have two more selections to suggest.

Roses by Leila Meachum is a novel written by a sixty-five-year-old retired school teacher. The novel came to my attention when I read early reviews.  Yearning for meaningful work and encouraged by her husband to finish a piece she started years before, Meachum’s sweeping saga is being rightfully compared to Gone With The Wind. Prepare to be enchanted.

Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman is the warm and engaging story of  twelve-year-old, Cecelia Rose.  After witnessing her mother’s descent into madness and having to cope with her shocking death, an eccentric aunt swoops in, moving the girl from the only home she’s known to Savannah.  Introduced to a colorful cast of characters, CeeCee learns about friendship and forgiveness and love.  This poignant novel, rich in its Southern setting will keep you turning pages.  Moving and memorable, you won’t want it to end.

I’ll never forget hearing literary agent Julie Barer speak at the 2009 Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference. She asked aspiring writers when they last bought a hardcover. Then she said, “If you want to be published, get out there and support authors. It matters. It will come back to you.”

Whether you write stories, or just love to read them, buy books.  Read stories.  And learn.

I’ve been a family life expert for more than twenty years, and there’s so much about my work counseling women, teaching parents, and observing children that inspired my first novel.

Writing this story gave me the chance to explore the fears that plague mothers.  In truth, Life Without Summer started off as a portrait of two women whose lives converge unexpectedly after a tragedy, but it became so much more.  It’s about the choices people make when faced with unbelievable pain.  It’s about what really holds relationships together when they’re tested.  It’s about the choice we all have to forgive. Here’s a recent television appearance, where I give readers a glimpse inside the writing of this novel.